A lecture about alcohol abuse
An elderly man, who was driving erratically around 2 a.m., was stopped by the police and asked where he was going at that time of night.
The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking, and staying out late.”
The officer then asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”
The man replied, “That would be my wife.”
For her 40th birthday, my wife said, “I’d love to be ten again.” So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favourite childhood breakfast. Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. We finished the day with a banana split.
“So how did you enjoy being a kid for a day?” I asked.
“Great,” she said. “But when I said I wanted to be ten again, I meant my dress size.”