Walmart
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed.
‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’
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You Used To…
An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch.
“You used to sit closer to me,” said the woman. So the man moved closer.
“You used to put your arm around me.” So the man put his arm around her.
“You used to nibble on my ear.” So the man got up to go into the house.
The woman said, “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to get my teeth.”