Swimming in the Pond
After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches. So, one evening he decided to go down and see how things were holding up. Much to his surprise, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a group of young women swimming in his pond.
As he walked up to the pond, they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”
The old farmer replied, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond. I only came down to feed the alligator.”
A Pink Cloud
Three guys die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter says to them “whatever you do, don’t step on a pink cloud”.
The first guy goes off wandering. when he comes back, he’s accompanied by one of the ugliest women you’ve ever seen.
“What happened to you?” asked the other two. “I stepped on a pink cloud” he replied. The second guy goes off wandering and comes back with an even uglier girl. “What happened to you?” they asked. “I stepped on a pink cloud.”
The last guy goes off wandering and comes back with the most beautiful woman any of them have ever seen. “What happened?” they asked. The woman says, “I stepped on a pink cloud.”